[But his first Gyarados tried to eat him! That's reason enough to be apprehensive against new Magikarps, right? RIGHT?]

Oh, but it is. Trust me, it is not worth your time.

[He really doesn't think fooling her into thinking otherwise would work.

Okay on this Jade thing, he has to stop and think this over for a moment.]

I have this nagging feeling that we are discussing two very different Jades. The insufferable poor excuse for a friend I am speaking of is a man and has also always been a man.