Dist almost jumps right back up, but he'll settle for expressing his conspiratorial excitement on the floor.]
That is exactly what I have always assumed! He just wanted to tear myself and Jade apart, and I am furious with how well he pulled it off!
[But he still primarily blames Jade for even going along with it. Jade has never been someone to be easily swayed by others, so he knows he had as much of a say in Fomicry's end.
Which is why his mood grows somber all of the sudden. He stares up at the ceiling, rather than at Iago.]
I...suppose I did not pay much attention to that when I was younger. I overlooked his behavior toward me, which, as I reflect on it...was subpar at best. I figured as long as I remained useful to him, he would let me be around him. He always did find my talent with machines useful.
[Iago's quiet at that for a moment. His gaze is on the floor as well, though his expression has shifted into something almost angry.]
He should have treated you better.
[There's always give-and-take in relationships, and you use the people around you to get what you want while they use you in return. But that doesn't sound right at all - it sounds like Dist was giving everything he had and Jade was making use of it... and for what? What did Dist get out of this, aside from considering Jade a friend when that clearly wasn't how Jade felt?
It's agitating for reasons he's not sure he fully understands. So he shakes his head as if to dismiss it.]
I can promise you I won't ever treat you like that. I do like you for more than just your astounding intellect, after all.
[It's an attempt to lighten the mood a bit, but something about all that still infuriates him.]
[It's really conflicting to hear outside opinions on his relationship with Jade. Back at the beginning of all of this, he probably would've defended Jade even if it made no logical sense to do so. "It's all going to change once I revive the Professor," he'd say. "Jade will go back to how he was, and everything will be fine."
But Jade...never did treat him well, did he? Even back then. And he was more than happy to overlook it, as long as he got to be around the person he worshiped like a god.
Iago just offered to help him continue his goals, but the more he talks about them, the more he finds himself second-guessing it all. It's...something he never thought he'd do.]
...Thank you, Iago. [He's looking up at Iago now, smiling ever so slightly. Gently, almost.] It means so much to hear that.
[Being admired for his intellect is great. It's amazing to feel appreciated, and useful... But it feels so much better to be liked for just being himself.]
[Dist's goals are honestly meaningless to him; attempting to rebuild the past in such a way isn't something he can fathom pursuing to the extent Dist has, but then again, he's of the opinion that he'd prefer to completely ignore his own past. So it's not something he's going to understand, but that doesn't mean he can't help. It's strange to want to put this much effort in for anyone else - especially anyone who doesn't immediately benefit him like Garon had.
It's not a bad feeling, though. It's sort of nice, honestly.]
Once we make it to the end of this, we'll figure everything out from there. For now, let's focus on making it through this alive, shall we?
[He can only imagine that things have changed for Dist too, even if the shift hasn't been as drastic as it has for himself.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Dist almost jumps right back up, but he'll settle for expressing his conspiratorial excitement on the floor.]
That is exactly what I have always assumed! He just wanted to tear myself and Jade apart, and I am furious with how well he pulled it off!
[But he still primarily blames Jade for even going along with it. Jade has never been someone to be easily swayed by others, so he knows he had as much of a say in Fomicry's end.
Which is why his mood grows somber all of the sudden. He stares up at the ceiling, rather than at Iago.]
I...suppose I did not pay much attention to that when I was younger. I overlooked his behavior toward me, which, as I reflect on it...was subpar at best. I figured as long as I remained useful to him, he would let me be around him. He always did find my talent with machines useful.
[It's kind of sad, really.]
no subject
He should have treated you better.
[There's always give-and-take in relationships, and you use the people around you to get what you want while they use you in return. But that doesn't sound right at all - it sounds like Dist was giving everything he had and Jade was making use of it... and for what? What did Dist get out of this, aside from considering Jade a friend when that clearly wasn't how Jade felt?
It's agitating for reasons he's not sure he fully understands. So he shakes his head as if to dismiss it.]
I can promise you I won't ever treat you like that. I do like you for more than just your astounding intellect, after all.
[It's an attempt to lighten the mood a bit, but something about all that still infuriates him.]
no subject
But Jade...never did treat him well, did he? Even back then. And he was more than happy to overlook it, as long as he got to be around the person he worshiped like a god.
Iago just offered to help him continue his goals, but the more he talks about them, the more he finds himself second-guessing it all. It's...something he never thought he'd do.]
...Thank you, Iago. [He's looking up at Iago now, smiling ever so slightly. Gently, almost.] It means so much to hear that.
[Being admired for his intellect is great. It's amazing to feel appreciated, and useful... But it feels so much better to be liked for just being himself.]
no subject
[Dist's goals are honestly meaningless to him; attempting to rebuild the past in such a way isn't something he can fathom pursuing to the extent Dist has, but then again, he's of the opinion that he'd prefer to completely ignore his own past. So it's not something he's going to understand, but that doesn't mean he can't help. It's strange to want to put this much effort in for anyone else - especially anyone who doesn't immediately benefit him like Garon had.
It's not a bad feeling, though. It's sort of nice, honestly.]
Once we make it to the end of this, we'll figure everything out from there. For now, let's focus on making it through this alive, shall we?
[He can only imagine that things have changed for Dist too, even if the shift hasn't been as drastic as it has for himself.]