[You know what makes life so much easier?

A flying chair, that's what.

And that's exactly what Dist has had returned to him today, much to his surprise. Not that he's complaining at all. He missed the thing immensely. Travelers and newcomers, you may have a hard time missing a fabulously-dressed man flying around in a gaudy armchair cackling as he does so.

Yeah, he really missed this chair.]

Alternatively:

[Travelers and newcomers may also have a hard time missing Dist with this...thing on the outskirts of Goldenrod City. He's training his Pokemon against it, so there are lasers and small explosions flying every which way in the area while Dist supplies commands from up in the air.

The chair was one thing, but one of his beloved robots suddenly making an appearance makes no sense to Dist. Still, he's not passing up the opportunity to test its durability against Pokemon attacks. If it can stand up to even the most powerful attacks his Pokemon throw at it, perhaps he can build brand new ones for Team Rocket use. That would help him up the ranks for sure!

In the midst of all this, he sends a short video to the Rocket Frequency, showing a view of the battle going on. He starts the feed with a cackle.]

My fellow Rockets, I present to you the super ultra magnificent Kaiser Dist! As you can see, it is a finely-crafted fontech that can resist a great deal of damage from Pokemon attacks and has plenty of powerful offensive attacks of its own.

[He briefly fixes the 'Gear on himself to finish off his little speech. That evil glasses gleam has never been so appropriate for how he is feeling right now.]

I generously invite you to come to Route 34 and see this masterpiece in person, because if I get the resources to build more of them, you may get to command one of your own in the future! Ta-ta.

[Okay, the chaos at the base has finally settled down and the network is back to normal. Time to make a post he's been meaning to make...

The video begins with a shot of the ever eye-searing flashy Dist from across a table in some nondescript location. Those seem to be pretty common, don't they? On that table rests various evolutionary items: a Razor Claw, Dubious Disc, Dusk Stone, and a Metal Coat which Dist is rolling in his free hand.]

Network, let's talk about evolutionary items. Not how they work, because I am sure that has been speculated to death. I'd like to ask why. Specifically, why do they only work on certain Pokemon? Some make sense, such as the Magmarizer which is obviously geared toward a Magmar. And of course, a Thunderstone would only apply to an Electric type Pokemon.

But what about the Razor Claw? [He sets the Metal Coat down and picks up the claw, examining it in front of the 'Gear's camera.] There are plenty of clawed Pokemon this could apply to, and yet apparently only Sneasel actually make use of it. I'm sure you saw my Metal Coat just now; that is another intriguing one. Currently, only two noted Pokemon have adapted and taken on a metal coating to achieve extra defense.

[Now that he's given enough examples, he sets the Razor Claw down and leans back a bit, propping his chin up with his hand.]

Do you ever wonder if there may be more Pokemon out there ready to use these items to their advantage? Perhaps some Pokemon already have the capability but have yet to be introduced to these items. [A small smile spreads across his lips.] Wouldn't it be absolutely thrilling to be the first to discover a brand new evolution unknown to the masses?

[After letting those words sink in, he ends the video.]

[private video to fellow Rocket scientists]

Speaking of evolution, is anyone in the Goldenrod base available at the moment? [He reaches for that Metal Coat again.] I am about to begin the initial testing for my current project, and a second person is necessary for it.

[Insincerely,] Many thanks.

[The feed begins with a faraway shot of a wild Rattata, prepared to attack whoever is holding the 'Gear. But that doesn't last very long. Out of nowhere, a Magikarp careens into its face. It didn't even have a chance to react.]

KAAAARP!

[While hilarious to watch, the attack doesn't knock the Rattata out, and it simply scampers away while the Magikarp flounders around where it landed. This causes some growling from behind the 'Gear. Human growling, not Pokemon.

An angry man appears on the screen shortly after and...well. Dat collar, lipstick, and permanent evil glasses gleam.]

Rrrgh, is there any easy way of training this worthless excuse for a Pokemon?! All it does is flop around, and throwing it is causing me to break a sweat. That simply will not do!

[He does an angry hair flip, attempting to prevent his hair from sticking to his forehead.]

The beautiful Dist the Rose is not meant to sweat at all! Not after all the effort I put into making myself more than presentable!

[Yeah, he's new here.]