4 ❀ video/action

[ortion]

[The feed opens up to a Magikarp splashing around in a small pool of water. But this is no ordinary Magikarp; this Magikarp is glowing. It seems that whoever is recording wants to capture the evolution on camera.

That person may or may not also be cackling. It's rather distinct to anyone who has heard it before...]

After months of absolutely miserable torture attempting to train this thing, the time as finally come for this useless fish to become something truly amazing! To all those who mocked me, feast your eyes, for I have persevered!

[Just as he finishes that little speech, the Magikarp's glowing form begins to shift and grow. The camera moves up as the shape becomes snake-like and continues to grow...until it finally stops. The glow fades, revealing a newly evolved Gyarados.]



Gyyyyaaaaaarrrrr...

Oh, just look at you. At long last, you can actually be useful. What a glorious day this is...

[As Dist goes on about how amazing this all is, the Gyarados seems to be checking out its new body. He looks proud of what he's accomplished. While Dist isn't paying attention, he begins to arch down toward his trainer and lets out a magnificent roar.]

GYYAAAAAA!!

Wh-What are you doing?! Don't come any close—aaaaaaauuugh!

[The Gyarados suddenly lunges at Dist, and the last thing the feed shows is a Scizor darting into view and grabbing the Gyarados's head by the mouth with her huge pincers. As Dist stumbles to the ground, the feed comes to an end.]

Comments

[video]

[artfuldestruction]

[[oh thank god, he's not the only one who gets attacked by his own Pokemon]]

Infuriating, isn't it?

[[Have Kato (thankfully dressed like a man) popping up on the feed, Dist, a sympathetic expression on his face.

...

well, as sympathetic as he can get]]

I trust you're alright?

[video]

[ortion]

[Dist's response comes a while after this fiasco, and he looks incredibly shaken up. He's rubbing his temple with his other hand.]

It wasn't supposed to happen like that at all.

... But yes, I am fine.

[He should be thankful that his Gyarados genuinely wanted to hug him instead of attacking him out of anger. But he can't exactly tell the difference. Happy Gyarados and angry Gyarados kinda look the same.]

[video]

[artfuldestruction]

Good to hear.

[[Man, he's slightly butthurt that you didn't get a chunk bitten out of you too. He's still paranoid this damn injury is going to scar, even though it's almost healed. As much as he dislikes Gorthan, the man knows how to dress a wound.]]

I've seen that species before, although I've never trained one myself; persevere with it and you should end up with quite the weapon.

[Video.]

[shakespearealien]

[This is Gorthan, who seems a little too impassive to be described as actually enjoying this.]

I am glad to see your research on Pokémon evolution take shape and direction, my dear Rose. This, too, is a remarkable result, and you have my praise for it.

You did, however, make one amateurish mistake. Never turn your back on a creature who is bursting at the seams to try out its newly acquired powers. Thankfully, it doesn't seem like a mistake you are going to repeat...

[Video.]

[ortion]

[Dist is far too distressed to be angry at you for pointing out his obvious failure, Gorthan.

In fact, he barely has words for that comment. He goes to say something, but just closes his mouth again.

Finally, he finds something intelligible to say.]

I attempted to be gentle with him while he was a Magikarp after I discovered what he would become. I thought I had covered all of my bases. [Said in a lower voice,] I don't understand how it still ended like that.

video

[viiru2alert]

[So by the looks of things, Sollux made a response to this message solely to record himself laughing at Dist's misfortune.]

[What a nice guy.]

video

[ortion]

[What's this? Someone new to add to the revenge journal? Sure looks like it.]

Stop that laughing this instant, you impudent savage! This is hardly a laughing matter!

Video;

[8etterl8]

[Oh, this scene looks familiar. Very, very, familiar. Basically what happened when her useless fish evolved.]

Isn't it just so frustrating?

Video;

[ortion]

[Judging by Dist's disheveled appearance, he is in every position to agree here. He's practically throwing a tantrum at this point and he doesn't even know who he's ranting to.]

Incredibly. After avoiding every impulse to throw it into the nearest tree or wall, and attempting to treat it with as much kindness as I could muster, it still happened.

It's not fair.

video;

[bellyshirt]

The stupid fish turns into that?! He's huge!

video;

[ortion]

[Dist's going to indignantly stare at Luke for the first few seconds of his response. That's it? That's all he has to say? Fine, he didn't want any sympathy anyway!!]

I take it you have one yourself.

[It's not even a question, because he can't muster up the ability to care.]

[Video]

[su6tlecoruscate]

...

[Just this face...if he's going to stand around referring to his Pokemon as a "useless fish" he can't be that surprised when it lunges at him...]

[Video]

[ortion]

If you have something to say, spit it out.

[He doesn't have the patience for judging glances right now.]

[Video]

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

[Thankfully, Cobra finished laughing at this before responding.]

Are you okay? I would hate for a valued member of the team to be eaten by their own Pokemon.

[He is trying so hard not to start laughing again.]

[Video]

[ortion]

[Through gritted teeth,] Perfectly fine, Commander.

[Though judging by his appearance and tone, he's not really. Physically, yes. Emotionally, no.]

[video]

[vulpesvivus]

Uh...are you okay?

[video]

[ortion]

[Sarcastically,] Perfectly okay.

[video]

[grapecape]

[worrying about strangers as usual

but...]

I hope you don't regularly speak to him in that manner. Pokemon raised that long learn to value their trainer's opinions highly.

[ >:C

>:C!! okay now he can]

Did he harm you?

[video]

[ortion]

Not frequently, no.

[Look at how nonchalantly he says that. Even when he's unsettled he can still admit to being a horrible person.]

And no, he did not. My Scizor was able to subdue him.

[action] if he's not too far from goldenrod, otherwise this is a video with that question in it o/

[meikyuubutterfly]

[Someone, namely this Rocket girl, was about to have a normal day with training her Pokémon here. But hey, this is an amusing turn of events and makes her wonder if all Gyarados do that to their trainer. ...Should she help him? Maybe. Does he want help from a Luxray? Good question.

Oh hey, something that you said doesn't make any sense to her. So, speaking of questions...]

Why would anyone train a Magikarp for months, when they could just catch or fish one between levels 10 and 20 from this route?

[action] He's right by Goldenrod, so you're good <:

[ortion]

[Utau will be walking in on Dist scrambling away from the battle between his Scizor and Gyarados. As he's finally getting the giant snake monster into his Poke Ball, he catches the girl's question.

And boy did he not need to hear that. And he does recognize her from the base...so she'll understand where he's coming from when he says the following.]

It was the one I received when I arrived. And there is no way you could actually convince me to capture more of the idiotic creatures.

[video]

[fonic_sight]

Oh, would you look at that! You're not completely useless as a trainer after all.

[video]

[ortion]

[Oh damnit he was hoping you wouldn't see this.]

I wasn't useless in the first place!!

[voice]

[enjoymyatelier]

[...

...

...

sciencebro...]

...well, thank you for giving me yet another reason to never train one of those things.

[voice]

[ortion]

So glad to be of use.

[Being made an example of sucks, Kayneth.]