Route 29 | IC Inbox

[ortion]

"Congratulations! You have reached the voicemail of the illustrious Dist the Rose. As you can tell, my time is far too precious to waste on you at the moment. Do feel free to leave a message though, but it had better be important."

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[katostrophic]

That's not the point!

[There's still quite a bit of bite in Kato's voice, but the volume is, fortunately, dropping. He can see that Dist is trying to calm him down, and the effort is appreciated, but he's simply far too enraged by all this to let his anger fade completely. Clenching and unclenching his fists, he shoots his gaze to the side.]

I don't care how upset he was about his stupid powers, that gives him no right to just come in here and act like a spoiled brat about it! You're a Division Head, and he owes you respect - whether he likes you or not!

[At Kato's side, Ranpu has begun to slowly turn, his eyes flashing occasionally as he communicates with his trainer. He's not trying to calm Kato down at all, however; he knows him far too well to think he could get away with that. Instead, he's taking notes, and offering information that could be useful.

There's one particular tidbit that he knows his trainer would like to be reminded of.]

...Jaeger. Jaeger is his superior officer, I'm going...to talk to him about this.

[Hopefully Dist noticed the emphasis on 'talk'. Yelling and screaming at Jaeger will get him nowhere (especially now that he holds a senior rank), but he'll definitely be asking him a few rather pointed questions about the behaviour of his subordinate.]

...

[Crossing his arms, Kato continues to glare at a spot on the floor as he bunches the material of his labcoat in his fists.]

...I would have killed him, you know.

If he'd hurt you.

[ortion]

[Dist doesn't say anything at first, because he knows Kato is completely right about Nagi's clearly disrespectful behavior. He didn't like it very much either- he was prepared to throw Nagi out as soon as he explained himself, and yet...part of him still wanted to see more.

But he doesn't seem to have any problem with Kato going to Jaeger about it (though he's mildly surprised Nagi is one of his), from the way he shrugs and gently taps his fingertips on his chair's armrests.]

I think that would be a good idea- he should be aware that his subordinate is quite...unpredictable, it seems.

[He was going to say something else about how he knows his own subordinates wouldn't do anything like that, but then he has to remember he did give Nagi the second chance to pass the test and possibly join the Division, so it would make him an enormous hypocrite to say so.

That and well, Kato's last comment completely catches him off guard. He freezes in his spot, stunned.]

Kato...

[He's not sure what to say to that- no one's ever said they would actually kill someone for his sake before. It's a lot different when you're calling the orders to do so, but Kato just said that all on his own. It's a level of dedication he hasn't seen in quite some time. He wants to say he finds it flattering, but...it's really not an appropriate situation to feel that way, is it?]

That would be entirely unnecessary and you know it. After all, I'm sure I could have held my own with my own powers if he did try to harm me.

[He's not really sure about that and his uncertain tone shows that, but he wants to reassure Kato. However, part of him knows this isn't normally how he would react to someone causing him harm. He'd want to hurt that person back too!

It's really starting to gnaw at him how he's being lenient on this kid because of his ability.]

[katostrophic]

[There's something else about this entire situation that is digging at Kato, not just Nagi's disrespectful actions. There's also the fact that despite his behaviour, Dist still allowed him to practice his skills in Division D. He still allowed him to stay, rather than kicking him out (or worse, which was what he deserved), in response to his little psychic tantrum. It's grating on him, but it isn't because he doesn't know why Dist has done it.

It's more because he has a feeling he does know the reason why. Slowly lifting his gaze from the floor, Kato refocuses it on his partner, sliding his glasses away from his face as he does so.]

...you did go rather easy on him, you know.

[That's a slight understatement. He's seen what Dist is capable of when he's unrestricted by whatever force prevents him from using his magic normally, so why...?

Kato still has his arms crossed tightly, but his posture has relaxed. A little bit, anyway. For a moment, he's still, as if trying to find the correct way to phrase what's on his mind.]

...do you relate to him? With the powers, I mean.

[ortion]

[Dist doesn't say anything to Kato's comment about going easy on Nagi, but the distant look in his eyes and the way he continues to thoughtfully tap at his armrest says he's well aware. After all, he's Dist. Normally, Nagi would be absolutely suffering for the level of disrespect he displayed. But that's clearly not the case here. Yeah, there's definitely more to it, and Kato's on the right track.

Again, he tells himself that it's for the best to get this out in the open. This incident stems from something he's been struggling with since he arrived in Johto.]

Yes. Of course, we both share a handicap by merely being in this world- we cannot use the powers we very nearly relied on in our home worlds. I can relate to his struggle to operate despite the lack of those powers. However, that is not the sole reason I have given him more chances than he deserves.

[For a moment, he bites at his lip because he really doesn't want to admit this. But the underlying issue needs to come to light.]

In many ways, that boy reminds me of Jade when he was a child. Jade was the true definition of a prodigy- his abilities at such a young age were nothing short of extraordinary. I suppose when Nagi claimed he was a prodigy, I immediately had to place him on that level from the very start, and as such my standards were set extremely high.

[It gets easier to talk as he goes, but he's still having a hard time holding eye contact.]

When he failed the test the first time, I saw it as an insult to everything he claimed to stand for. The retake was another matter entirely. The feeling I had when I was forced to go through every possible reason for the way he defeated that test and still turned up with nothing until I realized what weekend it was...it was exhilarating. It was like I was trying to understand Jade's first successful execution of Fomicry for the first time.

[With everything said and done, he can't help but chuckle quietly because he's realized something.]

I allowed him to treat me poorly because he reminded me of Jade. How typical of me.

[katostrophic]

[...so that's it, then. That Jade person...it seems that whenever Dist has a moment like this, a moment of weakness or hesitation, it all comes back to Jade. While it is admittedly frustrating to hear that he still has power over Dist, despite not being in Johto, Kato is privately relieved to receive a reason for Dist's odd behaviour towards Nagi. It's not a good reason, but it's an understandable one, and he's pleased to know that Dist didn't go easy on the little brat for no reason.

Falling silent, Kato looks to the ground for a moment before grabbing the nearest office chair and placing it near Dist's. Sitting down, he crosses his legs at the knee and folds his hands in his lap, tapping his glasses against his thigh.]

...you still allow him to have such influence over you, after all this time...?

[Despite his earlier aggressive behaviour, Kato's voice is surprisingly soft. It's not coddling, or overly warm, more...calm. They're scientists, after all, so they'll treat this problem in a scientific manner.

At least, as best they can.]

I know you know better than that, Dist.

[He's aware of the turbulent relationship between his partner and his former friend, and similarly of how painful it is for Dist, so Kato tries to choose his words fairly carefully. He needs to be firm, but not pushy. He'll do whatever it takes to rid Dist of Jade's unfortunate influence, but he's becoming more and more aware of how much he struggles to solve problems that don't involve calculations.

Nevertheless...for Dist, he'll try his best.]

[ortion]

[Dist leans further back in his chair in a sulking manner, expression sullen, almost looking taken aback by Kato's words. It's really hard to hear his problems spoken back to him like this.]

Believe me, it's not as if I've allowed myself to wallow in it this entire time. I've been struggling with moving on for quite a while.

[He runs his hands along the armrests of his chair almost anxiously as he talks. He eventually notices the nervous tic and opts to cross his arms instead.]

I've been told to move on many times, but I was convinced those people simply didn't understand the importance of my goals. Having been away from said goals for so many years, I...truly have been trying to take the suggestion to heart, and to listen to the advice I have been given here on the matter. But as you can see, for every step forward I take, I seem to take several steps back. I thought the events in October had given me good progress concerning the Professor, but I still continue to struggle.

[He never thought he'd make it as far as he has though. If he were anything like he was when he arrived in Johto, he'd be trying to figure out a way to return home to resume his goals, as bleak as the situation back home seemed. But he legitimately expressed to Kato a strong desire not to leave only a few weeks ago. He's made progress for sure, but it's not quite enough yet.]

I suppose what I am trying to say is...it's difficult, doing this alone.

[katostrophic]

[...and strangely enough, despite Dist's words, and his clear discomfort, what he's saying actually makes Kato smile slightly. So that's it, then...he can't say he's too surprised. This sort of thought process is new to him too, after all...]

I understand what you're saying, Dist. It's just that...what you said, it's not quite correct.

[He's a man of a scientific persuasion; when obvious factual inaccuracies pop up, it's his duty to point them out. Leaning forward, Kato rests his elbows on his knees, letting his mask dangle between his fingers. It's probably better that Dist can see his eyes as he says this, after all.]

I just thought that, by now, you'd realize you're not alone.

[ortion]

[Slightly confused, Dist's kneejerk reaction is to ask what he could possibly be wrong about in a defensive manner, but he's stopped cold by Kato's words. So for a good moment, he just looks shocked, mouth slightly agape from when he made an attempt to get defensive.]

I...

[That had legitimately not occurred to him until just now. He had no intention of burdening Kato with his personal struggle, so he chose not to say anything until it got dragged out into the open. But he was thinking about it the wrong way. Partners help each other overcome these things. He's not used to it at all, but as it sinks in he actually looks relieved to be having this realization.

He cranes his neck slightly allows his head to rest in his hands, shielding his face from Kato. He rubs at his temples too to make it look like he's not just emotional or something, but he might be. Just a little bit.]

Of course I'm not. I...I apologize for taking so long to realize that.

[Maybe moving on actually is a possibility.]

[katostrophic]

[...oh. Oh dear, are you-

...okay, he's never been the best sort of person to have around when someone is having an emotional moment, but fortunately Dist is the exception. Reaching out, Kato lightly places his hand on Dist's knee. Just to let him know he's there.]

It's fine. I'm not exactly used to being with someone like this myself, you know.

[It's a new experience for both of them, isn't it? It's something that Kato never thought would happen, anyway. Not with how pathetic he finds most humans.

But Dist isn't like most humans.]

It's not going to be instantaneous - this sort of thing never is - but as long as you're moving forward, you're still making progress. Don't let this recent incident make you think that you've failed yourself in any way.

[It's all Nagi's fault, after all c:

Just wait until he tells Jaeger about all this....that will be an interesting conversation...

...let him give your knee a squeeze.]

...you know you can...talk to me, when you're feeling low. When things like this happen, or you're upset over that...Jade person..

You don't have to hide things from me, Dist.

[ortion]

[The knee gesture is very much appreciated, and Dist does come to his senses again. His eyes are tinged with a bit of pink, but he managed to not completely lose it. He's embarrassed of course, his gaze darting off to the side before eventually settling on where Kato has his hand on his knee, but he knows it's going to be this way for a while. There are still a few things about being in a relationship that genuinely overwhelm him and this-being reminded he's not alone, Kato willing to help him through a genuinely large struggle in his life-is definitely one of them.

Again, he is reminded how fortunate he is to have Kato here.

He lets Kato's words sink in, nodding every so often to let him know that he's listening loud and clear and that he's taking it to heart. Of course he falters a little bit at the last part, but it's still good to hear. He's being given an outlet to actually talk about this, and maybe that's what he's needed all along.]

I promise that it wasn't intentional. It was simply the natural thing for me to do because I've done it for years. As you said, I'm just not used to this.

[Just talking about it now, talking about the possibility of moving on makes his chest ache just a little bit. It's hard letting go of something, or someone in this case. Especially someone like Jade. Jade had already let him go years ago, but he never could do the same.

Years later, two and a half of them being in Johto, he's finally ready. He wants to believe that.]

I- I dedicated my life to Jade and the Professor, so I know it is going to be a very rocky transition. But I have had a few years to get it started...

[He places a hand on top of Kato's, smiling distantly.]

...and someone to help me finish it.

[katostrophic]

[...

...it appears they are experiencing what Kato can only describe as a 'Serious Moment'. He's heard of such phenomena occuring when things get particularly emotional between two people, but he's never really thought it would ever be something that was relevant to him.

...

He decides he likes it.]

And finish it, we will. It would hardly do to allow one of our projects to remain incomplete, don't you think? Think of our reputations.

[Kato's voice is light, gently teasing, but he'll squeeze Dist's knee once more while he's speaking. This...well, it's honestly not the direction he expected this conversation to take once the truth of the Chair Incident came out, but it's not exactly something he's going to complain about. He's still going to do his best to make Nagi's life hell for a little while - he's never really been the sort to let people get away with crossing him, as Dr Ochanomizu can attest to - but he's nowhere near as angry as he was before.

Cocking his head to the side, Kato looks back at the door to the computer room.]

You know, I just remembered...I left my cup of coffee in there. It's likely gone stone cold, by now. Clearly that means I have to make another one.

[Gently untangling his hand from Dist's, Kato rises to his feet and starts to walk towards the coffee machine.]

I'll make you one as well; I'm sure you could use the energy.

[He doesn't pause, however...he does look back, to offer Dist a rather knowing smile.]

We have work to do, after all.

[ortion]

Exactly- we can't have the others thinking we don't finish what we start. Now that would be a tragedy.

[Strangely enough, Dist appreciates Kato's teasing spin on the situation this time around. All of this was just as unexpected for him as it was for Kato- he definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking, "Ah yes, it's about time I confronted my inner turmoil about my childhood friend and nearly cause my partner to become homicidal in the process. Perhaps I shall do that today."

And while he is somewhat relieved to finally have gotten some of it off his chest, Kato is absolutely right. They have work to do. That machine isn't going to build itself, and the last thing they want is Cobra Commander shrieking at them for falling behind schedule.

When Kato reaches the door, Dist turns to see him off.]

Could you add a shot of espresso into my cup this time? I believe today I am going to need an extra boost. [...] Thank you, Kato.

[For a lot of things of course, but let's just assume he was talking about the coffee this time.

Once Kato leaves, Dist slowly turns to his desk and buries his face back in his hands in an attempt to relax himself after that entire ordeal. There are still plenty of uncertainties remaining after their conversation. He messed up, and he'll have to find a way to properly apologize at some point. Plus he and Kato have now begun a journey down a road that is likely to be quite treacherous.

He just hopes he can keep up.]