[He inclines his head a bit and taps his nails against the mask for a moment, like he's maybe considering removing it before he drops his hand and resettles.]
It is at least partially because I like the look of it, but the truth is that I'm almost entirely blind in this eye. It's easiest for me to keep it covered.
[It's straightforward, without much of anything in his voice, though his gaze has shifted away somewhere during that and he doesn't bother to correct it now.]
[Truthfully, Dist had considered this to be a possible reason for Iago's adamant desire to keep his mask on. But actually having it confirmed is another matter, and he can tell it's a rough topic.]
Is it due to an injury, or has it simply always been that way?
Obviously I've learned to live with it; it isn't something that particularly troubles me. My concern has always been more that people will... pity me, or ignore my work in favor of focusing on my past. I have been blessed with natural talent, but it would mean nothing if I hadn't honed it into the skills I use now.
[He's very prickly about his past, in other words.]
I wanted to tell you because I trust that you won't treat me differently.
It doesn't. I'd greatly prefer to ignore everything that happened to me before I caught Garon's eye.
[He has far more important things to focus on now, anyway. Once it's out there, Iago settles a little. It doesn't get any easier to talk about it, but it's good to have it out in the open.
(Which is sort of weird to think about, if he's perfectly honest.)]
Thank you for listening. It's not a pleasant subject, but you did ask and I see no reason to keep it from you. As I said, it isn't as though it troubles me anymore.
[He is looking at Dist during the first part, and his expression lightens a bit at the words. That's precisely what he wanted to prove by telling Dist this much; he does trust Dist.
And then Dist continues and the expression falls away for a mildly confused look before the words really sink in. After all this time, this is the first anyone has ever suggested something like that. If the mask is brought up at all, it's usually to ask what's under it or why he wears it, this is...
Well, it's getting him to laugh, and he glances away as he reaches up to cover his mouth to try to stifle it.]
You never fail to surprise me. [It's fond, not reaching exasperated like he was going for.] I'd like that, Dist. I've gotten used to this one, but I can't say I'd be opposed to a change.
[That is exactly the reaction he was hoping to get, so really, Iago doesn't have to stifle it...
Pleased that his suggestion went over well, he crosses his arms in a proud sort of manner.]
You will have all of the say in their specifications, so we'll make sure they are up to your standards.
[These are just lofty musings about the future, so who's to say if it'll ever happen, but...it's not necessarily bad to think about life after this nonsense, is it? They plan to live, no matter what the Lady throws at them.
That, and Dist has always been one to think about what he wants to see lying ahead of him in the future.
With the subject of Iago's mask out and the open and discussed, Dist is sure he doesn't want to dwell on it for too long.]
So, Iago... Was there something else that you wanted to discuss with me tonight?
[Iago did say the mask topic was one of his reasons for coming, so...]
[He's really not surprised Dist managed to completely lighten the mood so easily; they've been pretty good at reading each other from the start and Dist knows him pretty well by now. Still it's... really nice...]
Ah, yes, there is. First of all, I wanted to apologize again for last night.
[He won't dwell on it though, both because that could embarrass Dist again and because as far as he's concerned, that's over and done with.]
I do want you to know that I trust you, and perhaps that may begin to make up for it a bit. Whatever questions you have for me - at any point - I'll answer honestly.
[It isn't as though he's been outright lying to Dist previously, it's just that he's always careful in what he says and how much he gives away at any point. Even now there's something nerve-wracking about opening himself up and wanting to be honest. It's new and it's terrifying, but ultimately this is what he wants to do. It is partially an apology, yes, but mostly... it's simply because he wants to trust Dist.]
[Dist's expression shifts from proud to, well...subdued again is probably the best descriptor. It's a good sort of subdued, though. It's just that he needs a moment to process a proper response.]
It does. Having your trust means very much to me, beyond this terrible game. The more time I've spent with you, the more I realize how amazing it is to have someone to talk to- about our frustrations, our aspirations, things that interest us, lifting one another up, trusting one another with these secrets we'd normally leave unspoken... You have helped open my eyes to this in so many ways.
[Once he started, he kind of just kept going... Apparently he had a lot more to say on the subject than he thought. Always one for the dramatics, and it sure checks out... He lets out a small noise and shakes his head a little.]
What I am getting at is that I can hardly stay vexed by you for long, even if you are far too fond of flustering me.
[...]
But in all seriousness, now that you have put me on the spot, I find myself lacking anything pressing to ask you- but I will certainly keep this in mind. I am, however, willing to extend that offer to you as well. I am sure you have questions for me?
Edited (html ruining the mood!!!) 2020-01-31 07:10 (UTC)
I agree completely. There wasn't anyone I was this close to back in Nohr. As horrid as this situation is, meeting you here really has been a blessing.
[Things with Garon were... complicated, and it isn't as though he dislikes Garon any. But they were using each other to get what they wanted from day one, and that has a way of coloring every interaction in a different light. It's not as though Iago regrets any of it; he did what he had to in order to thrive, and some part of him will miss Garon.
But that was then, and things are very different here. This is the first time he's really found like-minded people who understand - and perhaps more importantly, they want to understand. It isn't an exaggeration to say that meeting Dist has changed things quite a bit.]
Of course, Dist. It isn't a one-time offer; whenever you have questions for me, I'll always answer.
[He considers that for a moment; there is something he's been meaning to ask, though the timing is a little strange...]
I am very curious about your relationship with Jade and what exactly happened between the two of you. This isn't something I'll press on if you aren't comfortable talking about it, however.
[It is curiosity that compels him to ask, but something about it has always struck him as really weird. Jade is so important he's listed on Dist's profile three times and yet Dist is never shy about admitting that he hasn't really had someone understand him quite like this before. It's confusing, and he imagines it's exceptionally complicated, but he does want to know more even if it isn't something Dist wants to discuss right now.]
[Mm... He had a feeling that this would come up at some point. And truthfully, he's been reflecting on it quite a bit these last few weeks.]
I will speak on it.
[Despite his willingness, it's immediately noticeable that it's a very uncomfortable subject for him. It was back when he first told Iago about Jade, but now that he's about to go into the details, it's even worse.]
I've known Jade since childhood. Our parents were friends, so I would often play with him and his sister. We also went to school together, under the tutelage of Professor Nebilim. [The other name on his profile.] Jade was a prodigy with fonic artes, as I alluded to before, and I... I worshiped him for it. He was perfection in my young eyes, and I often imagined the amazing things we could do together with Professor Nebilim's guidance.
Jade, on the other hand... Well, I suppose he saw me as something of a nuisance, but he allowed me to pursue him regardless because of my own talent with machines. [It actually hurts quite a bit to admit this, but it's one of the things he's been reflecting on a lot in Krakow.] He was fond of the Professor though- we all were. We saw her as a secondary mother in a way. But she was also an incredible fonist, and Jade idolized her as I had him.
Jade's primary interest as a budding fonist was controlling the Seventh Fonon- the most unstable of fonons that only certain individuals can properly harness. The Professor had attempted to harness it in the past, but she was unsuccessful. Jade wanted to prove to her that it was possible, even for those not predisposed.
[He turns his attention to the floor at this point. Time for one of the hard parts.]
In an attempt to demonstrate an arte to the Professor one night, something...went wrong. The Seventh Fonons in the arte went out of control, and the Professor was nearly killed protecting us from the resulting explosion.
[There's still quite a bit more to this story, but he'll pause there for any questions that Iago might have before continuing.]
[Greatest desire: To have Jade and Professor Nebilim back. Though Dist isn't done with the story, Iago can imagine where it goes from here. They couldn't save her, and both of them bear the blame for it. He can only imagine how strained things became between them after that.
It isn't often he really stops and considers what drives other people, but thinking about it now... he wonders what it's like, to want something other than power or status or position. To put your all into something for someone else... it's a strange idea and one he's not really sure he gets. But it explains quite a bit about Dist, and just as importantly, it's the most depressing thing he's ever heard.]
Dist, I'm so sorry. I can only imagine how difficult it was to witness something like that.
[Of course Dist would have thought Jade would pull it off; he idolized him.]
What happened after that?
[From the sound of it, things aren't going to get better.]
[Dist flinches. It's...strangely uncomfortable to receive pity about this. He doesn't comment on it though, and instead continues so he can just get this story over with.]
We carried her to the edge of town and attempted to save her life with a process that the two of us had been developing: Fomicry, the replication of fonons. Jade came up with the theory and had successfully taken damaged items and replicated them into an undamaged state. We attempted to apply the same theory to the Professor: replicate her body so she could continue to live. But this theory was in its infancy and largely untested, especially on living beings. But we were desperate.
It went horribly wrong.
While Jade was successful in replicating the Professor, her replica...was severely unstable. It was her body, but it was not the Professor. It went on to kill several civilians before escaping the city and was later sealed away in the mountains. The original Professor died during the replication process.
[In a cruel twist though, that's not even the end of the story.]
Jade was never the same. With the loss of the Professor at his hands, he...lost all of the happiness that we once shared. But I convinced him not to give up on saving her. We spent years continuing our attempts to develop and perfect Fomicry in order to create a new, functional body for the Professor with her memories in tact.
After countless failed replicas and a near-death experience, Jade abandoned the project and banned Fomicry for being too dangerous. I cannot express how betrayed I felt in that moment, after all that time we had spent trying and how much progress we had made... I couldn't fathom why the Jade that I knew to be perfect would give up. We had an intense argument over this, and he...ended our friendship.
[There's a lot of pain in Dist's voice as he recounts all of this. These moments...they've haunted his dreams for years. It's a lot to get off of his chest.]
That was over ten years ago. I have continued to develop Fomicry in Jade's absence, because unlike Jade, I refuse to give up. I can't.
[He's put his whole life into this. He's terrified to imagine abandoning it now.]
[Well, this didn't quite go in the direction he was expecting. Fomicry... replicating items and people— Oh, Klados is just mean. Poor Dist, no wonder he's really not fond of his power here.
Anyway, that's not the point. This is a lot to take in and it shows on Iago's face, but after a moment he settles a bit and reaches out to pat Dist's arm. He... doesn't do physical affection very often, is it obvious...]
I can't understand why he would want to give up. After so much time and effort put into it, how could you give up on the thing that drives you?
[It isn't necessarily an insult to Jade; he doesn't know Jade, and for all he knows Jade found a perfectly good reason to ban Fomicry. Maybe it truly is just that dangerous and a lot of their experiments resulted in people dying. But it's not like Iago cares about that, so it's much easier to side with Dist here.
After all, giving up on the one thing that drives you forward is inconceivable.]
I can see just how hurt you've been by all of this. I can only imagine just how painful it is to even tell me about this much. Thank you, Dist.
[There's more he wants to say and more he wants to ask, but now isn't the time for that. He's sure Dist will be happy to talk about Fomicry and the Seventh Fonon later, but right now isn't really the time.]
Iago might not be the most experienced with physical affection, but the gesture is very comforting for Dist. Even moreso are Iago's words. As much as Dist protests, he is starved for validation. But nothing- nothing compares to Iago backing him up on this.
For the first time since this conversation began, he relaxes, if only a little.]
Thank you for listening. I can imagine none of this was...quite what you were expecting. But I am grateful to have had you listen.
[It really is like having a weight lifted off of him, having elaborated on the tragedy and struggle in his life with someone he has come to trust.]
If I am to be entirely honest...back home, I was at limits with Fomicry. I have tried everything to create the perfect replica, but...I am coming closer to the conclusion that what I seek is impossible without Jade's help. If I cannot convince him to rejoin the project, I...
[His breath hitches in his chest, and he shakes his head, not wanting to continue that thought. He knows Jade will never rejoin him. He is committing a serious crime by even continuing to practice Fomicry. There is no light at the end of this tunnel.]
[He was expecting necromancy, so you know what, this is definitely an improvement. Look, he's a dark mage, of course he was expecting necromancy?? Anyway.]
Of course, Dist.
[But he continues and Iago frowns at that. Fomicry likely involves both Dist's area of expertise and Jade's, so if he's hit a wall on his end then Jade is really the only person who can help him finish this.]
I see.
[And he does, though he's not entirely sure what to say in response to that. If Jade went so far as to outlaw the use of Fomicry, it isn't likely he'll ever be willing to work on it again, no matter what Dist says or does. If Dist can't convince Jade to help him... then all of that work and time will be for nothing, won't it?]
I wish I could reassure you that Jade will see reason and will join you, but I don't know him and I'm certainly not one to rely on blind hope. It's possible he'll change his mind and join you, but it's also possible he won't. Coming this close only to hit a wall you can't overcome must be incredibly upsetting.
[...]
When all of this is over... let's talk about this again. I won't make any promises, but I am very interested in your world and your technology and artes. I can't say I could ever replace Jade, but perhaps a fresh set of eyes will help give you a new direction.
A small chuckle escapes Dist, eventually turning into a laughter choked by sobs. For the proud and flamboyant front that he puts on, on the inside Dist has always been sensitive and fragile, grappling with crippling loneliness. And here Iago is, offering to potentially help him with his life's work and trying to lift him up from a place of utter hopelessness. On an emotional front, he just can't handle it.]
I- I am so sorry. [He brings up a gloved hand in an attempt to wipe away his tears.] I don't know what came over me.
[He grips onto one of Iago's hands, quite intensely like he doesn't want to let go.]
Thank you.
[It's possible that nothing could come out of this, but that's something that Dist can worry about later. For now, he has a potential way to continue and that's far better than admitting failure.]
[This is the sort of thing that would have been alarming and entirely off-putting at the start of this. He doesn't know how to deal with emotions in other people, and his own tend never to stray too far from anger. It's a lot, but after four damn weeks, he's starting to get a better idea of how to handle it.
So he doesn't flinch or even react much, instead he pats Dist's arm again and fishes a handkerchief out of his pocket to pass over.]
You don't have to apologize. I can imagine just how much of a relief it is to feel as though you're no longer alone.
[He does, because it's exactly what he's been dealing with. He's careful with his nails when he squeezes Dist's hand reassuringly.]
I will be right here, whenever you need me. Once this is over, we can work out how to proceed. For now... keep your head up. We'll make it to the end of this together.
[The handkerchief is gratefully accepted in an attempt to salvage his face- oof, the glasses are definitely going to have to come off for now. Thank Yulia he hadn't put on any eyeliner. While it might still be a bit before he stops shedding tears, the handkerchief is...helping.]
It is...to an indescribable degree.
[Years of pain and frustration that had been bottled up were opened tonight, and it's so overwhelmingly freeing.
Many more expressions of gratitude are murmured as Iago squeezes his hand.]
[Dist finally smiles a little bit and tries to take a deep breath to calm himself. A small hiccup escapes, but he makes some progress.]
Who would have guessed that we actually have something to thank that woman for?
[It's true, though...they wouldn't have met if not for this awful situation. But at least something good came out of it. Something amazing, even.
He pauses for a moment, considering something.]
We've been using it as an alibi for a while now, but would you be opposed to actually spending the night here? I think...I would very much like your company.
[The first part gets a soft laugh out of him; it certainly is true that the Lady actually did something good for once.
The second part gets him to pause for a moment, considering.]
I'd like that as well.
[He's told Dist that he trusts him, and he means it. Really, the only reason why he hadn't suggested it before now was because he's easily agitated about removing his mask in front of anyone, but there's no reason to worry about that now.]
Allow me a moment to get a few things; staying in here would certainly be preferable.
[Given that any noise is likely going to make Rideaux suspicious... So!! This sounds great, sleepover time!!!]
And yeah, he kind of figured he'd ask Iago to stay in his room rather than the opposite...for exactly the reasons that they discussed in a previous conversation. The last thing they need right now is Rideaux making stupid comments.
Dist's mood seems to lift significantly about the whole thing though. He nods and gives Iago enough space to get up.]
Of course. I am going to freshen up in the meantime, but I should be back before you.
[He needs to do something about his face after that meltdown. Oof. Hopefully no one catches sight of him in the bathroom.]
[And off he goes!! It'll take him a little while to gather up everything he needs and it'll take a couple of trips to get it all to Dist's room, but by the time he's done he has quite a few blankets in here as well as a change of clothes and his makeup in case he ends up waking up a bit too late and he needs to get ready in here. Hopefully that won't be a concern, but you never know, and he is not setting foot outside where people can see him without his makeup on!! Never again!!!
Anyway, once he brings the last of his stuff in, he ends up fussing with his mask a bit before deciding fuck it and just removing the damn thing. Perhaps surprisingly he doesn't actually have anything visibly wrong with the side of his face he usually keeps covered; even his bad eye doesn't really look all that off.]
I'm fine sleeping on the floor for tonight, though it certainly isn't something I'd like to make a habit of.
[He busies himself fighting with a hairbrush instead of actually looking at Dist, though he's not turned away entirely either.]
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[He inclines his head a bit and taps his nails against the mask for a moment, like he's maybe considering removing it before he drops his hand and resettles.]
It is at least partially because I like the look of it, but the truth is that I'm almost entirely blind in this eye. It's easiest for me to keep it covered.
[It's straightforward, without much of anything in his voice, though his gaze has shifted away somewhere during that and he doesn't bother to correct it now.]
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[Truthfully, Dist had considered this to be a possible reason for Iago's adamant desire to keep his mask on. But actually having it confirmed is another matter, and he can tell it's a rough topic.]
Is it due to an injury, or has it simply always been that way?
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[He's quiet for a moment once that's out there.]
Obviously I've learned to live with it; it isn't something that particularly troubles me. My concern has always been more that people will... pity me, or ignore my work in favor of focusing on my past. I have been blessed with natural talent, but it would mean nothing if I hadn't honed it into the skills I use now.
[He's very prickly about his past, in other words.]
I wanted to tell you because I trust that you won't treat me differently.
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Not in the slightest. I don't see why an old injury should have any bearing on your magical and tactical genius.
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[He has far more important things to focus on now, anyway. Once it's out there, Iago settles a little. It doesn't get any easier to talk about it, but it's good to have it out in the open.
(Which is sort of weird to think about, if he's perfectly honest.)]
Thank you for listening. It's not a pleasant subject, but you did ask and I see no reason to keep it from you. As I said, it isn't as though it troubles me anymore.
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[He gives Iago a reassuring look, provided he's willing to look his way.]
Perhaps at some point we may get some alternative masks crafted for you, to coordinate with all the suits that we picked out.
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And then Dist continues and the expression falls away for a mildly confused look before the words really sink in. After all this time, this is the first anyone has ever suggested something like that. If the mask is brought up at all, it's usually to ask what's under it or why he wears it, this is...
Well, it's getting him to laugh, and he glances away as he reaches up to cover his mouth to try to stifle it.]
You never fail to surprise me. [It's fond, not reaching exasperated like he was going for.] I'd like that, Dist. I've gotten used to this one, but I can't say I'd be opposed to a change.
[Provided it fits his aesthetic, of course.]
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Pleased that his suggestion went over well, he crosses his arms in a proud sort of manner.]
You will have all of the say in their specifications, so we'll make sure they are up to your standards.
[These are just lofty musings about the future, so who's to say if it'll ever happen, but...it's not necessarily bad to think about life after this nonsense, is it? They plan to live, no matter what the Lady throws at them.
That, and Dist has always been one to think about what he wants to see lying ahead of him in the future.
With the subject of Iago's mask out and the open and discussed, Dist is sure he doesn't want to dwell on it for too long.]
So, Iago... Was there something else that you wanted to discuss with me tonight?
[Iago did say the mask topic was one of his reasons for coming, so...]
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Ah, yes, there is. First of all, I wanted to apologize again for last night.
[He won't dwell on it though, both because that could embarrass Dist again and because as far as he's concerned, that's over and done with.]
I do want you to know that I trust you, and perhaps that may begin to make up for it a bit. Whatever questions you have for me - at any point - I'll answer honestly.
[It isn't as though he's been outright lying to Dist previously, it's just that he's always careful in what he says and how much he gives away at any point. Even now there's something nerve-wracking about opening himself up and wanting to be honest. It's new and it's terrifying, but ultimately this is what he wants to do. It is partially an apology, yes, but mostly... it's simply because he wants to trust Dist.]
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It does. Having your trust means very much to me, beyond this terrible game. The more time I've spent with you, the more I realize how amazing it is to have someone to talk to- about our frustrations, our aspirations, things that interest us, lifting one another up, trusting one another with these secrets we'd normally leave unspoken... You have helped open my eyes to this in so many ways.
[Once he started, he kind of just kept going... Apparently he had a lot more to say on the subject than he thought. Always one for the dramatics, and it sure checks out... He lets out a small noise and shakes his head a little.]
What I am getting at is that I can hardly stay vexed by you for long, even if you are far too fond of flustering me.
[...]
But in all seriousness, now that you have put me on the spot, I find myself lacking anything pressing to ask you- but I will certainly keep this in mind. I am, however, willing to extend that offer to you as well. I am sure you have questions for me?
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[Things with Garon were... complicated, and it isn't as though he dislikes Garon any. But they were using each other to get what they wanted from day one, and that has a way of coloring every interaction in a different light. It's not as though Iago regrets any of it; he did what he had to in order to thrive, and some part of him will miss Garon.
But that was then, and things are very different here. This is the first time he's really found like-minded people who understand - and perhaps more importantly, they want to understand. It isn't an exaggeration to say that meeting Dist has changed things quite a bit.]
Of course, Dist. It isn't a one-time offer; whenever you have questions for me, I'll always answer.
[He considers that for a moment; there is something he's been meaning to ask, though the timing is a little strange...]
I am very curious about your relationship with Jade and what exactly happened between the two of you. This isn't something I'll press on if you aren't comfortable talking about it, however.
[It is curiosity that compels him to ask, but something about it has always struck him as really weird. Jade is so important he's listed on Dist's profile three times and yet Dist is never shy about admitting that he hasn't really had someone understand him quite like this before. It's confusing, and he imagines it's exceptionally complicated, but he does want to know more even if it isn't something Dist wants to discuss right now.]
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I will speak on it.
[Despite his willingness, it's immediately noticeable that it's a very uncomfortable subject for him. It was back when he first told Iago about Jade, but now that he's about to go into the details, it's even worse.]
I've known Jade since childhood. Our parents were friends, so I would often play with him and his sister. We also went to school together, under the tutelage of Professor Nebilim. [The other name on his profile.] Jade was a prodigy with fonic artes, as I alluded to before, and I... I worshiped him for it. He was perfection in my young eyes, and I often imagined the amazing things we could do together with Professor Nebilim's guidance.
Jade, on the other hand... Well, I suppose he saw me as something of a nuisance, but he allowed me to pursue him regardless because of my own talent with machines. [It actually hurts quite a bit to admit this, but it's one of the things he's been reflecting on a lot in Krakow.] He was fond of the Professor though- we all were. We saw her as a secondary mother in a way. But she was also an incredible fonist, and Jade idolized her as I had him.
Jade's primary interest as a budding fonist was controlling the Seventh Fonon- the most unstable of fonons that only certain individuals can properly harness. The Professor had attempted to harness it in the past, but she was unsuccessful. Jade wanted to prove to her that it was possible, even for those not predisposed.
[He turns his attention to the floor at this point. Time for one of the hard parts.]
In an attempt to demonstrate an arte to the Professor one night, something...went wrong. The Seventh Fonons in the arte went out of control, and the Professor was nearly killed protecting us from the resulting explosion.
[There's still quite a bit more to this story, but he'll pause there for any questions that Iago might have before continuing.]
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It isn't often he really stops and considers what drives other people, but thinking about it now... he wonders what it's like, to want something other than power or status or position. To put your all into something for someone else... it's a strange idea and one he's not really sure he gets. But it explains quite a bit about Dist, and just as importantly, it's the most depressing thing he's ever heard.]
Dist, I'm so sorry. I can only imagine how difficult it was to witness something like that.
[Of course Dist would have thought Jade would pull it off; he idolized him.]
What happened after that?
[From the sound of it, things aren't going to get better.]
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We carried her to the edge of town and attempted to save her life with a process that the two of us had been developing: Fomicry, the replication of fonons. Jade came up with the theory and had successfully taken damaged items and replicated them into an undamaged state. We attempted to apply the same theory to the Professor: replicate her body so she could continue to live. But this theory was in its infancy and largely untested, especially on living beings. But we were desperate.
It went horribly wrong.
While Jade was successful in replicating the Professor, her replica...was severely unstable. It was her body, but it was not the Professor. It went on to kill several civilians before escaping the city and was later sealed away in the mountains. The original Professor died during the replication process.
[In a cruel twist though, that's not even the end of the story.]
Jade was never the same. With the loss of the Professor at his hands, he...lost all of the happiness that we once shared. But I convinced him not to give up on saving her. We spent years continuing our attempts to develop and perfect Fomicry in order to create a new, functional body for the Professor with her memories in tact.
After countless failed replicas and a near-death experience, Jade abandoned the project and banned Fomicry for being too dangerous. I cannot express how betrayed I felt in that moment, after all that time we had spent trying and how much progress we had made... I couldn't fathom why the Jade that I knew to be perfect would give up. We had an intense argument over this, and he...ended our friendship.
[There's a lot of pain in Dist's voice as he recounts all of this. These moments...they've haunted his dreams for years. It's a lot to get off of his chest.]
That was over ten years ago. I have continued to develop Fomicry in Jade's absence, because unlike Jade, I refuse to give up. I can't.
[He's put his whole life into this. He's terrified to imagine abandoning it now.]
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Anyway, that's not the point. This is a lot to take in and it shows on Iago's face, but after a moment he settles a bit and reaches out to pat Dist's arm. He... doesn't do physical affection very often, is it obvious...]
I can't understand why he would want to give up. After so much time and effort put into it, how could you give up on the thing that drives you?
[It isn't necessarily an insult to Jade; he doesn't know Jade, and for all he knows Jade found a perfectly good reason to ban Fomicry. Maybe it truly is just that dangerous and a lot of their experiments resulted in people dying. But it's not like Iago cares about that, so it's much easier to side with Dist here.
After all, giving up on the one thing that drives you forward is inconceivable.]
I can see just how hurt you've been by all of this. I can only imagine just how painful it is to even tell me about this much. Thank you, Dist.
[There's more he wants to say and more he wants to ask, but now isn't the time for that. He's sure Dist will be happy to talk about Fomicry and the Seventh Fonon later, but right now isn't really the time.]
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Iago might not be the most experienced with physical affection, but the gesture is very comforting for Dist. Even moreso are Iago's words. As much as Dist protests, he is starved for validation. But nothing- nothing compares to Iago backing him up on this.
For the first time since this conversation began, he relaxes, if only a little.]
Thank you for listening. I can imagine none of this was...quite what you were expecting. But I am grateful to have had you listen.
[It really is like having a weight lifted off of him, having elaborated on the tragedy and struggle in his life with someone he has come to trust.]
If I am to be entirely honest...back home, I was at limits with Fomicry. I have tried everything to create the perfect replica, but...I am coming closer to the conclusion that what I seek is impossible without Jade's help. If I cannot convince him to rejoin the project, I...
[His breath hitches in his chest, and he shakes his head, not wanting to continue that thought. He knows Jade will never rejoin him. He is committing a serious crime by even continuing to practice Fomicry. There is no light at the end of this tunnel.]
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Of course, Dist.
[But he continues and Iago frowns at that. Fomicry likely involves both Dist's area of expertise and Jade's, so if he's hit a wall on his end then Jade is really the only person who can help him finish this.]
I see.
[And he does, though he's not entirely sure what to say in response to that. If Jade went so far as to outlaw the use of Fomicry, it isn't likely he'll ever be willing to work on it again, no matter what Dist says or does. If Dist can't convince Jade to help him... then all of that work and time will be for nothing, won't it?]
I wish I could reassure you that Jade will see reason and will join you, but I don't know him and I'm certainly not one to rely on blind hope. It's possible he'll change his mind and join you, but it's also possible he won't. Coming this close only to hit a wall you can't overcome must be incredibly upsetting.
[...]
When all of this is over... let's talk about this again. I won't make any promises, but I am very interested in your world and your technology and artes. I can't say I could ever replace Jade, but perhaps a fresh set of eyes will help give you a new direction.
[He pauses, considering.]
Well, one eye.
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A small chuckle escapes Dist, eventually turning into a laughter choked by sobs. For the proud and flamboyant front that he puts on, on the inside Dist has always been sensitive and fragile, grappling with crippling loneliness. And here Iago is, offering to potentially help him with his life's work and trying to lift him up from a place of utter hopelessness. On an emotional front, he just can't handle it.]
I- I am so sorry. [He brings up a gloved hand in an attempt to wipe away his tears.] I don't know what came over me.
[He grips onto one of Iago's hands, quite intensely like he doesn't want to let go.]
Thank you.
[It's possible that nothing could come out of this, but that's something that Dist can worry about later. For now, he has a potential way to continue and that's far better than admitting failure.]
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So he doesn't flinch or even react much, instead he pats Dist's arm again and fishes a handkerchief out of his pocket to pass over.]
You don't have to apologize. I can imagine just how much of a relief it is to feel as though you're no longer alone.
[He does, because it's exactly what he's been dealing with. He's careful with his nails when he squeezes Dist's hand reassuringly.]
I will be right here, whenever you need me. Once this is over, we can work out how to proceed. For now... keep your head up. We'll make it to the end of this together.
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It is...to an indescribable degree.
[Years of pain and frustration that had been bottled up were opened tonight, and it's so overwhelmingly freeing.
Many more expressions of gratitude are murmured as Iago squeezes his hand.]
We will. I know we will.
[...]
I am so grateful to have met you, Iago.
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[More than he can really express, anyway. More than he's even realized, perhaps.]
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Who would have guessed that we actually have something to thank that woman for?
[It's true, though...they wouldn't have met if not for this awful situation. But at least something good came out of it. Something amazing, even.
He pauses for a moment, considering something.]
We've been using it as an alibi for a while now, but would you be opposed to actually spending the night here? I think...I would very much like your company.
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The second part gets him to pause for a moment, considering.]
I'd like that as well.
[He's told Dist that he trusts him, and he means it. Really, the only reason why he hadn't suggested it before now was because he's easily agitated about removing his mask in front of anyone, but there's no reason to worry about that now.]
Allow me a moment to get a few things; staying in here would certainly be preferable.
[Given that any noise is likely going to make Rideaux suspicious... So!! This sounds great, sleepover time!!!]
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And yeah, he kind of figured he'd ask Iago to stay in his room rather than the opposite...for exactly the reasons that they discussed in a previous conversation. The last thing they need right now is Rideaux making stupid comments.
Dist's mood seems to lift significantly about the whole thing though. He nods and gives Iago enough space to get up.]
Of course. I am going to freshen up in the meantime, but I should be back before you.
[He needs to do something about his face after that meltdown. Oof. Hopefully no one catches sight of him in the bathroom.]
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[And off he goes!! It'll take him a little while to gather up everything he needs and it'll take a couple of trips to get it all to Dist's room, but by the time he's done he has quite a few blankets in here as well as a change of clothes and his makeup in case he ends up waking up a bit too late and he needs to get ready in here. Hopefully that won't be a concern, but you never know, and he is not setting foot outside where people can see him without his makeup on!! Never again!!!
Anyway, once he brings the last of his stuff in, he ends up fussing with his mask a bit before deciding fuck it and just removing the damn thing. Perhaps surprisingly he doesn't actually have anything visibly wrong with the side of his face he usually keeps covered; even his bad eye doesn't really look all that off.]
I'm fine sleeping on the floor for tonight, though it certainly isn't something I'd like to make a habit of.
[He busies himself fighting with a hairbrush instead of actually looking at Dist, though he's not turned away entirely either.]
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