Route 29 | IC Inbox

[ortion]

"Congratulations! You have reached the voicemail of the illustrious Dist the Rose. As you can tell, my time is far too precious to waste on you at the moment. Do feel free to leave a message though, but it had better be important."

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Comments

sept 12 / anonymous mail

[bellyshirt]

DON'T READ THIS u will get kissed on the nearest possible friday by ur crush. Tomorrow will be the best day ever and u will catch a rare pokemon. HOWEVER IF U DONT FORWARD THIS TO AT LEAST 5 PEOPLE u will get chased by 50 beedrills and sprayed by a skuntank!!!!11!

[ortion]

What.

What is the meaning of this nonsense? Do you honestly expect me to fall for something so elementary?

[His crush isn't even near Goldenrod so clearly it is false!!]

[bellyshirt]

how do you know it wont work huh

better safe than sorry

[omg dist has a crush DEETS]

august 4 | voice

[enjoymyatelier]

[...yeah okay when you actually see someone you kind of like on the news for stealing the fossil revival machine out of the pokemon center

yeah]

Was that really necessary?

august 4 | voice

[ortion]

[Surprisingly enough, Dist hasn't been paying attention to the network since last night due to being stuck in the middle of nowhere and feverishly working on this damn machine in attempt to get it in working order.

So when he gets this message, he knows it can only mean one thing. God damnit they got found out.]

Can we please not talk about this right now?

[It's already embarrassing enough that the mission didn't go as planned at all, but now people are aware of it. And in this case, people he likes too.]

[enjoymyatelier]

I wouldn't be talking about it if you hadn't stolen the device that's apparently intended to be used to revive fossils in the city I'm currently staying in! Now I have to wait until after I defeat this awful gym leader and go to Ecruteak to be able to use them, so I'm hoping you had a-

[DON'T SWEAR DON'T SWEAR DON'T SWEAR]

-decent reason for this!

august 4th | voice

[timelymaid]

[ Apparently Kayneth beat her to it but. ]

Dist! Did you steal that stuff from the museum, too?

Also, are you okay? I hope you realize your face was in a news broadcast.

[ ...Two conflicting sentences but whatever. ]

[ortion]

[noooOOOOO Aradia, you weren't supposed to find out this waaay.

Also yeah those are definitely conflicting sentences.

There's a bit of a guilty tone to his voice when he responds, but he also sounds pretty pissed as well. Maybe at himself, maybe at his team, maybe at everything...who knows.]

I just found out. Yes, I am fine, and no, I did not steal from the museum.

[Short and to the point, because he doesn't even have the will to explain himself right this second.]

[timelymaid]

[ Hm. Okay, since he didn't directly obstruct her in visiting the museum, her own questionable alien moral code can allow this to pass, apparently.

...she needs to work on her moral code sometime, even though she's one of the more "good"ish trolls. ]

Well, that's something, at least. Why did you steal a machine available to public use, though?

6/7, text

[synchroswim]

hey dude
dude
serious question here






do you have any magikarp you dont want
or know anyone that has one they wanna get rid of
totally serious

[ortion]

[Okay what.]

Please don't tell me you actually want more of those dreadful fish.

[...he might have some though.]

[synchroswim]

dude i want a whole team of them

orin evolved
the one i had before

hes a freakin giant and hes a walking badass

he can eat someone

8/14 not anonymous at all

[timelymaid]

DON'T READ THIS u will get kissed on the nearest possible wednesday by ur crush. Tomorrow will be the best day ever and u will catch a rare pokemon. HOWEVER IF U DONT FORWARD THIS TO AT LEAST 5 PEOPLE bad luck will rear it's ugly head at u!! THIS IS NOT A JOKE. There are consiquences for ignoring this, u will get chased by 50 beedrills and sprayed by a skuntank!!!!11!

**NOTE** The more people U send this to, the better luck you have!

P.S. I did not make this up, someone sent it to me so I am passing it on!

> ENCRYPTED ATTACHMENT: pory-con-invite.txt

[ortion]

[THIS FEELS STRANGELY FAMILIAR...]

I am slightly offended that you would possibly inflict Beedrills and Skuntanks on me, Aradia.

[timelymaid]

haha but what sort of friend would i be if i didnt give you the chance to have the best day ever dist? :p
and catch a rare pokemon at that

[ she might be a little bored........... ]

8/14 Not Anonymous At All Text

[ajustcaws]

DON'T READ THIS u will get kissed on the nearest possible wednesday by ur crush. Tomorrow will be the best day ever and u will catch a rare pokemon. HOWEVER IF U DONT FORWARD THIS TO AT LEAST 5 PEOPLE bad luck will rear it's ugly head at u!! THIS IS NOT A JOKE. There are consiquences for ignoring this, u will get chased by 50 beedrills and sprayed by a skuntank!!!!11!

**NOTE** The more people U send this to, the better luck you have!

P.S. I did not make this up, someone sent it to me so I am passing it on!

> ENCRYPTED ATTACHMENT: pory-con-invite.txt

[ortion]

[You know...Dist isn't as surprised by this one. He's only spoken to Cynthia a few times but she definitely seems like the type to believe this rabble.]

Answer me this: do you believe a mysterious force is watching over you as you send these out, making sure you've sent the proper amount of messages to qualify for its rewards?

good morning sir dist

[rarestcandy]

DON'T READ THIS u will get kissed on the nearest possible wednesday by ur crush. Tomorrow will be the best day ever and u will catch a rare pokemon. HOWEVER IF U DONT FORWARD THIS TO AT LEAST 5 PEOPLE bad luck will rear it's ugly head at u!! THIS IS NOT A JOKE. There are consiquences for ignoring this, u will get chased by 50 beedrills and sprayed by a skuntank!!!!11!

**NOTE** The more people U send this to, the better luck you have!

P.S. I did not make this up, someone sent it to me so I am passing it on!

> ENCRYPTED ATTACHMENT: pory-con-invite.txt

how could this happen to meeee

[ortion]

And what joyous occasion and/or rare Pokemon are you looking forward to as a reward for potentially inflicting pain on poor, unsuspecting souls who may not quite understand this message?

[synchroswim]

DIST

i need ur science know how
hypothetically could you make a pokemon uh
bigger

[ortion]

[Demyx what are you doing now.]

First of all, why do you need this information?

Backtagged to 11/28 [action]

[unkinder]

[Not having experienced this strange time of year yet in Johto before, waking up with his abilities suddenly restored was a shock. Nagi had just begun to properly train himself to avoid unconsciously reaching for powers that didn't exist to do things for him, such as turning on the lights. This morning was one of those mornings when the idea that he couldn't slipped his mind with his grogginess. Needless to say, he was fully awake by the time the lights suddenly snapped on on their own accord.

Some further experiments- picking up small objects from the floor or desk, then moving on to actually using his Gear without touching it- proved to Nagi that this was in fact happening, and that his telekinesis had somehow been restored. He got up then, quickly clipping his pokeballs on his belt and leaving his room, immediately marching down the hall down a familiar path to the offices deeper in the base.

Even as he walks, he can feel his chest tighten slightly, but a quick reminder of those lights snapping on makes it go away. Surely Dist and Kato are up early and working as diligently as they so boast...so perhaps they wouldn't mind if he payed them a visit. And if they did, well.

Nagi would just have a proposal ready they couldn't refuse.]

[ortion]

[Sure enough, Nagi will indeed find Dist at his desk in the labs. He's currently reading through a bunch of paperwork before he moves on to his experiments for the day. His Roserade and Flabebe are joining him today, but his partner, Kato, is conspicuously absent.

When Nagi enters, Dist's Pokemon are quick to alert their trainer of the boy's presence. He lifts his head up to see who's paying a visit this early and...oh. Nagi showing up definitely gets some mixed reactions on Dist's end, judging by the way his expression of interest falters a bit when his gaze lands on the boy.]

Nagi. What brings you to Division D this morning?

[He taps the stack of paperwork against the desk to straighten it out, then turns to give Nagi his full attention. Rosamund and Gardenia watch on with interest.]

[action] Jan 13th

[katostrophic]

[It's just another day in Division D, and Kato is busy working at his desk on one project or another. The majority of the things he has to do today involve data entry, and since he requires them for calculations he's not interested in trusting the job to grunts. One wrongly entered number could equate to many wasted hours of redundant mathematics, after all, and Kato isn't going to risk it.

Nevertheless, it's a goddamn boring job. He's been at it for about an hour (and onto his second cup of coffee), clicking back and forth and tapping in one number or another, when he realizes that his mouse isn't responding. After a few aggravated shakes on the pad, he concludes that...yes, it is definitely not working properly. One check of the (now flickering) light on the bottom of it confirms his fears. Angrily sitting back in his chair, he runs a hand roughly through his hair and sighs.]

I'll just go and get another one...

[The computer room has a plethora of spare parts; he'll grab a new mouse from in there, and get back to what he's doing. Carrying his coffee with him, he makes his way over to the room, Ranpu obediently opening the door for him to enter.

It's as he's reaching down to unplug his selected mouse from its tower that he notices something...odd.]

What the...

[Near the back of the room, there's a chair; one of the plain metal ones that you can find scattered about the base. What's unique about this one, however, is the fact that its legs are twisted and curled together like noodles. It's not the sort of damage usually earned from wear and tear, anyway. Ignoring his computer troubles (and his coffee) for the moment, Kato walks over to the chair and picks it up, running a hand over the mangled metal. Ranpu also looks at it curiously, trying to work out what could have happened to it.]

This is odd. What do you think?

[Falling silent, Kato listens (or...well, 'listens') as Ranpu relates his thoughts. His Lunatone is on the same page as him; this sort of bizarre damage definitely looks like it was inflicted by a Pokemon, likely a Psychic-type. But he and Dist never let their Pokemon practice their abilities on mundane departmental equipment, that's just asking for pointed budget-related questions from Proton...]

Hey, Dist...

[Determined to get an answer, Kato carries the chair over to where Dist is working, placing it down before him and crossing his arms, a bemused expression on his face.]

Do you know what happened to this chair? I found it in the computer room. It's utterly mangled.

[ortion]

[Currently on Dist's agenda is preparing the to-do list for today's progress on the doomsday machine Cobra Commander commissioned. He and Kato have been making good progress on it, and judging from today's calculations they're getting very close to finishing it, just in time to ship it out to wherever Cobra needs it.

So he's working on that at his desk, viewing the progress and schematics on his computer and transferring notes to his tablet pad to bring to the construction lab later on. When Kato comes calling, he curiously glances up from his notes.]

Hmm? What is it?

[That's when he lays his eyes on the chair. His eyes widen considerably, fearfully.]

Ah--

[He briefly covers his mouth to choke back a gasp. It's followed by a look of frustration because he knows there's no way Kato's not going to ask about that reaction now. He thought he got rid of that chair! Though apparently that's not the case. He must have immediately left the room immediately after Nagi's stunt that day and neglected to go back and collect the mangled chair remains.

He didn't think that day would be coming back to haunt him so soon.

Despite his rather strong reaction to the chair, he still tries to play it cool, like he actually has a chance of getting around this. He quickly turns away from the chair, opting to look back to his notes and not Kato. Because apparently avoiding eye contact is a real good strategy.]

Ah, that. I allowed Fonon and Katherine to wander the division the other day; Fonon thought it would be hilarious to trick Katherine into practicing her new moves on the chair.

[He makes a few taps at the tablet; he's clearly nervous that this isn't gonna work.]

They were both punished, naturally. I simply haven't had the opportunity to dispose of the remains yet.